A series of calamities, including poop.

Oh wow.  I have had quite a day thus far.  It has been so monumental that I decided I should just write it all out now.  If you can’t stand someone talking about poo, have a nice day.

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First (not the calamity):  I had my first person ask me if I was pregnant.  Since I still just look a little fat (unless I am laying down), I was quite surprised.  The girl works 4 doors down from me and serves as our department’s AV person.  She has always been really nice and welcoming.  It ends up that she is due 2.5 weeks after me…so she has preggo eyes.  She spotted the weird weight gain that is all in my FUPA.  Get this, she got pregnant BY ACCIDENT!!!  Went to the ER just sure she had a cyst…nope, 6 weeks pregnant.  Lucky twerp.

Second (the series of calamities):  I had to get up early and grab some sodas and water for a Wildlife Society meeting the students are having tonight.  So around 8 am (yes, my schedule is fanfreakintastic) I headed into 7-11.  I was quickly drawn to the coffee.  This particular establishment has one of the best coffee bars I have ever seen in a gas station.  SO…I walk out with my sodas and a medium Pumpkin Spice decaf….YUMMMMM!!

My lecture starts at 9:30.  I go to the office.  I go make some copies.  I feel a rumble.  I get asked if I am pregnant.  I go back to my office.  I feel a pain.  I start to sweat.

CALAMITY:  Apparently, my stomach DID NOT THINK ‘YUM’ to the decaf.

I have 10 minutes before class starts.

I quickly go to the bathroom and notice a single piece of toilet tissue floating in the bottom of the toilet.  **CLUE  CLUE**  Shouldn’t be a problem, right?

I do some unspeakable, long big business.  I then do what my father calls a “courtesy” flush (which means you aren’t completely done but you wanna take the smell down a notch).   The water starts to rise, along with the poo. 

5 minutes until class starts.

I honestly did not know what to do.  I could hear people in the hall. 

CALAMITY:  The toilet does an additional automatic sensor flush…the water is now up to the rim (there was no tank…the tank is inside the wall). 

PREPARE Yo’ Self.  I stand up.  I push up my sleeve and reach threw my own poo and unclog the huge wad of paper down there…that deceivingly looked like a single piece.  The water stops rising but the toilet does not finish the flush.  I dare not try again.  Poo and paper are just sitting in a bowl full of water at the very very edge. 

CALAMITY:  I see that my shirt sleeve and my sweater sleeve went into the water with my hand.  ICK!!!  I wash my hands 3 times.  I wash my shirt sleeve and sweater sleeve…all while praying the water starts to go down.  Nope.

I stand by the door trying to hear if the people have gone.  It sounds all clear.  I turn out the light and open the door. 

CALAMITY:  “DING”.  The elevator, which is right beside the bathroom door, opens and out comes the janitorial staff lady.  WHERE DO YOU THINK SHE GOES? 

I walk quickly past her, with my head down toward the stairs.  All of this is in an open atrium-style stairwell.  I see her walk into ‘the disaster’.  I head straight to ANOTHER bathroom downstairs and ‘finish’ all that I started…along with about 5 more minutes of hand/arm/sleeve washing.

Class started late but I don’t think I smelled like poo. 

My hubs gagged on the phone when I told him the whole story.  Most people probably just never speak of such things but I am sure they happen, right?  Right before they go in to teach a bunch of undergrads??

Good Times.

Choices

In an odd way, having more choices actually places a much greater burden on women, because we become the creators of our circumstance, whereas, before, we were the recipients of them. I’m not saying we should have less choices; I’m saying choices are not always as liberating and empowering as we hope they will be.

Interesting quote.  I think it applies to all kinds of issues, not just pregnancy.

This and that and the other

It has been a few days since I blogged anything.  I wish I had my camera with me to show you all that has happened.  Basically, our house fell apart, AGAIN.  Involving the following: major leaks, kitchen cabinets in the living room, rust in an eye, upstairs toilet in the guest room, destroyed tile, mouse poop, crazy mold, and a hottie contractor.  More on this later.

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I have started my new job and it is going to require some schedule adjustments.  Aka—must grow up.  I get up in the morning and work on my old job for an hour or 2.  I bike to work and work for about 7+ hours.  I bike home and workout.  I then work for another hour or 2 on my old job.  I make dinner and go to bed.  Something has to give….

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I am still doing Insanity and have only 2 weeks left!!  The weight IS STILL NOT moving.  I am staying between 149 and 151…and that is still 10-15 pounds above where I want to be to feel good, given my small frame.  So so frustrating.  I think it is a product of getting older.  EEK!  I will stick with it.  I will start P90X when I am done Insanity…I think the additional weight training will help.  I also need to do better on the weekends.  Invariably, by Friday morning I am like 148.5….and by Monday morning I am 151.  So, yeah.

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A sweet baby boy has been born (and he is really a cutie-pie:) and I am nothing but ecstatic!!  He is perfect and will be ridiculously loved.  I can’t wait to hold him and smooch him and I am so proud of my bestie and her hubs:)

Another friend asked me if I was bothered by the joyful birth.  It was a kind, thoughtful question.  No, I’m not.  Not for this couple…in fact, I will happily proclaim him to the world as my nephew:)  I wish infertility was not always running in the background.  I push it away each time it rears up to give me another small, deep cut.  I have my eye on Winter.  If I can make it through Winter, perhaps something will have changed.

 

A teenage disease

In honor of Park and Belmont’s George……and my father (who caught his early) and my mom who insisted on sunscreen: