Sometimes my husband amazes me…and carries around an extra wet man.

We had the pleasure of going to West Virginia for the weekend.  There were 4 couples in total and the plan was snow-shoeing, cross-country skiing, gluttony on the food front, and a hot tub.  Sadly, I could only partake in the food part, and boy did I (along with doing most of the cooking…which was actually fun!).

It was an eclectic group of people.  One couple (S&R) we met through Mr. Ology’s work and they have become really good friends.  We have similar interests and outlooks.  One couple (S&A)  I met through another mutual friend, and we realized they live just down our street.  They are super cool and have been loads of fun.  The last couple (D&M) is here from Turkey; the husband is a Fulbright scholar and is finishing up his grad work.

Sadly, the snow eluded us…as it eluded most of the lower 48…, but the cabin, fires, games, food, and company was awesomeness.

As to the title of this post…the hubs is under crazy amounts of stress at work.  Beyond anything about which I have heard others complain.  So, his capacity for initiating or even committing to socializing has been severely stunted.  …and he married a “I need my friends” kind of girl.  He has put up with me thrusting strangers on him and scheduling parties and get-togethers with hours notice.  Beyond that, he has created real friendships with the S&R and S&A husbands (both S’s:).  One of the husbands is a total “I hate big cities” and “Let’s fix some shite” bromance. 

The other husband is a biking bromance…and a paraplegic.  It has been super interesting to watch my husband encounter situations unique to a friendship with a paraplegic.  Now, first off, this guy is SUPER cool, really laid back, and from BOSTON.  Need I say more?  He doesn’t really let anything stop him…which is good for my husband, who needs a lesson in positive thinking.  can you say pessimist? 

The hubs has lifted S’s hand cycle chair over fallen trees (while he’s in it…I can’t get him to do that for me!), lifted him in his arms to move him into our truck to go to a bike race in Baltimore, and carried him on his back to and from the hot tub (boo for too many stairs in the chalet!).  All 4 guys laughed and got drunky and made dumb dildo jokes…and I (obviously sober) watched and was happy that I married a guy who sees the man, never the chair.  He never once stopped to pause …a man who thinks carrying a wet, drunk man drape across his back, while drunk himself, is totally par for the course.  Pretty cool friends, pretty cool husband.      

His and Her Panic Attacks: Baby Edition

Mr. Ology and I have had several together and I have had a few additional.

We both started freaking out when we went into a Babies-R-Us, but the gift card was calling!  It was so big and bright and overwhelming.  I turned to him and said, ‘I am totally freaking out.  Can we get out before we are consumed?  I think I might vomit from the fake cuteness.’

The hubs came home from work with a story about a co-worker who would sleep under his desk for a few hours each day because the new baby never stopped crying.  We both cringed and consoled each other.

I went to tour my first daycare, and I felt like a total imposter.  Like I am just faking all this baby-crap.  That feeling has been exponentially compounded by a total lack of pregnancy symptoms and halted abdominal growth (I hope she is ok in there). 

Am I grateful?  Yes!  Am I freaked out?  Yes!  Do I feel like I am faking it all?  Yes!  Do I routinely look at the Hubs and say “Holy Shite.  I have no idea what I am doing” ?  Yes!

I am just going to keep faking and hope everything works itself out.  That is what moms do, right?  **Cringe** The only mom I am/have been is a Dog’s mom…and I know that I know what I am doing in that department.

Baby stuff makes me panic.    

Aging is hard and sometimes bittersweet.

Several things have happened lately that remind me that aging is not for the young of heart.  Along with all the good, it carries with it trials and turmoil and bittersweet times.

People get older and age and their bodies start to break down, whether it is cancer or broken heart parts.

People sometimes get feeble minded and are easily taken advantage of…like the 82 year old woman in our neighborhood who fell prey to a scam.  Her “grandson” called from Spain after having been in a car accident.  He needed $2,000 cash wired immediately.  Of course she would help her grandson!  Even though he was not her grandson.

Mr. Ology and I talked it over last night and I asked him…

“What must elderly people think of this world we live in now?  Was it like this 75 years ago?  No respect?  Greed?”

He replied, “Probably not so prevalent, no.”

Sadness but acceptance of life and death and the hard, wonderful, and pitiful road between.

 

Nostalgia

Nostalgia…It gets me every time.  I think that I am so far beyond and music brings me right back.  Some good memories, some really not.  Wounds that have scarred over and sweet history that I relish and would long to repeat.  I guess that is just life.

From forsaken true love…to toxic adrenaline rushes of lust…to a homey love that feels different than you expected, sometimes overwhelming, sometimes falling short…if that makes any kind of sense.