When I was just starting my PhD, the University I attended did not actually offer a PhD in my field. My department (M.S.) was in the process of getting a PhD program approved but I needed to declare immediately. The only other “similar” option was Ecology and Evolutionary Biology. I needed to contact a person there and I called their office Secretary. She gave me the woman’s name and number.
Being naïve and dumb, I should have Goggled or searched her name to see with whom I was dealing. Instead I cold called her AND called her by her first name, as the secretary had done. BIG MISTAKE. She ripped me a new one, something like “I have been a professor here for x years, I have earned my PhD, I am published around the world, and so It is Dr. Soandso.” It was way more snotty, evil than that though. It was so harsh and I was so unprepared, it brought me to tears. I went immediately to my major professor and told him about what happened. He agreed to let me stay undeclared for a year and skip the whole “having to deal with her”.
I thought she was such a witch. A feminazi, sanctimonious, hard-core biotch. 8 years later, I still kind of feel that way BUT now I have some perspective.
I am a young PhD-level lecturer at a large University. I am (so I have been told, ha!) “hipper” than most of their matured, older professors. I talk to them, not at them. I make jokes. I am very energetic.
In my classes, I immediately introduce myself as “I am Dr. X, and you can call me Dr. X”. It works and they do. A clear line drawn in the sand. The graduate students are a different ball game. Even though they are often only 1 year out of their undergrad…they think they are my peers. I have several situations where they talk to me as if we are sitting at a bar…and even have had some back talk, eye rolls, etc.
What to do? I would never want to come across as a sanctimonious witch with too high of an opinion of herself.
I consulted my older, wiser boss. I assumed his genial manner and grey hair would preclude him from this behavior. Wrong. His opinion was to just make the statement “Please call or refer to me as Dr. X.” Clear line. If they get annoyed, so be it. It just feels so…snotty. He believes the clear line keeps issues and problems at bay. I see his point but ugh. It is a struggle for me.
At both grad schools I attended, the standard was for undergrads to call their professors “Dr. X” and grad students to call them by their first names. We (grad students) were considered peers. And that included professors with international reputations in their fields. So, I don’t think there is a way to insist on being called Dr. without looking bad. And I think, when I was in grad school, if a professor had said that I wouldn’t have argued, but I would have made a point not to call them anything at all rather than be forced into that. In fact, I remember one of the grad students finishing up her Ph.D. while I was working on mine and taking the job as clinic director. She announced that she expected to be called Dr. and just got laughed at. It wasn’t pretty.
I’ve gone private, by the way, but if you email me I’ll send an invitation. I couldn’t figure out how to find an email address on here.
Oh, just found the email address!
Interesting! Master students in our field almost never called profs by their first…sometimes their major. PhDs usually did for their major prof. Otherwise, no. It wouldn’t matter to me if I did not see so so many professional issues arise when that relationship became too casual. We aren’t peers. In my field, we are professor/student and I think that unless we are working daily together, it will need to stay that way for now.
When I had a Dr. for a lecturer, some of my fellow students would refer to him as Mr or by his first name simply to piss him off. It was partly borne out of naive lack of understanding of the work involved in obtaining a doctorate, but also parlty borne of his overbearing and concescending manner; he wasn’t the easiest guy to be tutored by.
Ironically now I work professionally surrounded by Ph.D’s, and everyone is on a first name basis, to the point where seeing ‘Dr’ in front of someone’s name is actually something to note.
Overbearing, condescending people suck:) I hope I am not one of those! Interestingly, outside of the academic world, no one in my profession goes by Dr. It is more of a respect thing at the University level.
Hey, I like your new layout! Sorry I haven’t been around in a while. I kind of spaced out over the holidays and am just trying to regain presence of mind : )
Anyway. My college was only undergrad and everyone was called Professor or Doctor. So I was calling all my professors Doctor when I got to grad school as well. But I quickly learned that all grad students, and some undergrads–if they were privileged enough, called all professors in the department (no matter how high their tenure status) by their first names. Our department was very familiar. Profs would go out with us to have drinks, host parties at their house, etc. One professor even married his graduate student, although they kept it all very hush-hush until she graduated.
I understand needing some time to defrag.
I saw a few departments like that in my too many years of grad school…along with several affairs and obvious favoritism and professors almost losing their jobs. I decided that while I really really like hanging out with our grads…doing it regularly (not holidays, etc) is just not the smart thing for me/them professionally. I never thought I would feel that way or even HAVE to think about these sorts of things.
My boss did say it is probably harder in my case because I am 1) female 2) young, and 3) personable. Mostly good things, or so I thought. :)
This is a tough one and honestly, I think it’s an issue that a lot of us face. I’m not dealing with it in the academic context, but rather at work, where I feel like I have to make efforts to be taken seriously/seen as the level that I am rather than the level that I look. I’ve experienced the frustration that it causes, but sadly I don’t have any good advice on how to handle it. Wish I did. It can be so hard to be firm without seeming bitchy.
Exactly: firm without bitchy….not alwasy easy. I will just keep trying. It sucks, doesn’t it?!
Young people need to learn respect. Unfortunately, they won’t unless we make them. When dealing with interns or newbies in my job I always just remind myself that by having it come from me I am saving them from getting fired by someone else. Also, that there is no way in hell I would want to socialize with them….
That is a good way to think of it! Teaching respect and keeping them from getting fired!! I suddenly feel better:)