Let me show you my anxiety…
Here is another view…
Oh my.
My husband’s sister is very very generous. Or perhaps they just needed more space in their house (I jest, …kind of).
Seriously, they have 2 small children, the youngest of which is turning 3 in March. They have lots of room and lots of stuff…and they have given it all to us. While this is great, it has caused me serious anxiety. I will slowly go through one bag at a time and sort into ‘give away’, ‘consignment’, and ‘keep’ piles. I will then put the ‘keep’ stuff in Tupperware bins and store it in the attic. We will probably only keep 1/10th of it. Our house is really small…and we don’t like lots of “stuff”.
Oh my.
Some of the bigger items:
Pack-n-play
Phil and Ted E3
Crib
Clothes…oh, the amount of clothes, ages infant—4 yoa
Bouncer/swing
Playmat
Toys…oh, the toys
Highchair
Car seat with 2 bases
I feel really lucky…..but the stuff made me feel pressure I had, until recently, pushed away. The fear that I faced from week 4-12. Fear she will die and I will be left with all this crap. Fear that none of it will be needed but must still be dealt with in her absence. I am sure many soon-to-hopefully-be-moms feel this way. I hate it. I would have rather waited until she was here to get anything…but my controlling nature fought that idea. I needed everything settled and ready, but I do not want to jinx this pregnancy either.
**sigh**
I know, I know. Everything will be fine. This is just a normal fear of pregnancy, perhaps especially for a “geriatric” pregnancy after infertility. I still must vent.
To counteract the internal strife…I just purchased a Hi Bebe BT-200T Fetal Monitor/Doppler.
Ugh.
I so agree about not “jinxing” things. Speaking as a fellow geriatric mom-to-be (due on Friday, thankyouverymuch) with fertility challenges, there are some things that I prefer to wait on, like baby showers. I’ve known someone who had one pre-baby, and then their baby died after 3 days because of an undetected heart defect. They ended up donating all of their shower gifts and selling all of the brand new nursery furniture. So sad.
I dare not be presumptuous. ;)
I am sure everything will go swimmingly:) You must be so excited!!
Yeah…me no wanna jinx. Even though a huge part of me thinks that is ridiculous.
Ugh…so hard when it is not just your fate anymore.
So awesome that you were gifted all that stuff, but WOW. There’s some pressure, huh? I would probably feel exhausted every single time that I looked at that huge pile. I would offer to come over and help you sort it but well that does sorta seem like jinxing it, doesn’t it?
I know, right!? Even though I feel silly:)
Exhausted is the word…I am going to at least try and organize it a little this weekend. Yikes!
“I am sure many soon-to-hopefully-be-moms feel this way”
Dads too :) I was more tense about the impending arrivals in the last few weeks of pregnancy than any other time.
Too true!! My hubs may feel that way as we get closer…so far he seems to just be dealing with the idea of RESPONSIBILITY. Yowza! :)
Well….at least you’re getting “stuff,” even if it’s a headache to go through (oy!). Since we live so far away, we’ve had to buy everything. So expensive!!
Anyhow, I understand the baby fears and the what ifs…though I did not struggle with infertility, I think all new moms have a hard time with the unknown…I know I do.
Oy vey. Super expensive! ..and sometimes the “baby-industry” gets so overwhleming!
Us controlling peeps do not like the unknow;)
I so strongly relate to your feelings…!!!! KNowing that I’m not alone kind of give me strength…
I, too, am pregnant (21 weeks now) and had a loss beginning of last year. For the first 12 weeks I was so tense and nervous about the possibility of going through everything again! And even now, I feel bad when I buy maternity or baby stuff because I am afraid of something happening and everything going to waste…. Oh gosh… I never thought that pregnancy would bring so many insecurities!
I have been enjoying a lot your blog. :)
I wish you all the best.